What Is Fear?
I came across this wonderful little acronym the other day – FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real.
While a bit of fun, I also believe it reflects a universal truth…
Other than those times when you are, for example, confronted by a shadowy figure brandishing a big knife in a dark alley, most of our fears are simply made up. That is, most of what we fear is simply a story we tell ourselves. You know the type … I’m afraid that I won’t make it … I’m too frigthened to try … or the old stand-by, I don’t want to look silly, etc, etc.
Many situations we fear are simply not true, right here, right now. We’ve made them up. We seek as much evidence as possible to convince ourselves that the “story ” we are telling ourselves is in fact true. We even seek agreement from others to galvanise our concerns, eg “Don’t you think that …?”
If you are someone who seeks to inspire others, help them to see their fears for what they really are… just a story, something they’ve made up, that, if not distinguished for what “fear” truly is, may prevent them from achieving something pretty special.
The old saying, “there’s nothing to worry about” is right on the money – there really is nothing to worry about because what you fear has not occurred. What you fear is the story of what might happen, not what is actually happening. And, in most cases, never does happen.
So, what could YOU achieve if you knew you couldn’t fail?
Or, your students, your children, your staff, etc…
Make a difference in someone’s life today, and help distinguish (remove) their fears.
How Not To Pick Partners
Your approach, or the manner in which you manage your group, is everything. And this couldn’t be more true than at the beginning of your program.
Consider that one of the most frightening things you could ask your group to do is the seemingly innouous command “pick a partner.” To some people, including yours truly, when I was young and asked to pick a partner, the words I heard were “find someone who likes you.”
Now, I’m not saying to never use these words to form pairs; I’m suggesting that this partnering technique may be less successful, or perhaps even awkward, at the beginning of your program, especially for some of the less confident, less able or less “included” members of your group.
To avoid the socially clumsy moments of “…you’ve only picked me because there was no one else,” or “… you wanted to hit on me,” or “…you had to,” etc, give people a reason to be with someone. A reason that you specify, for example, Find someone who has … “similar length of hair to you … same colour eyes as you … same size hand as you … similar looking knees … etc,” you get the idea. The more random and silly, the better.
It’ll rarely work out perfectly (that it is say, you may need to invite some folks to simply partner up with anyone because they can’t find a match), but it will provide an initial framework in which to search for a partner, and it will have little to do with ability, looks or gender.
For more ideas about how to divide groups up randomly, check out ‘Count Me In: Large Group Activities That Work.’
What do you think? Leave a comment here…
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Who am I?
Hi, I'm Mark Collard.
This blog shares some of the most successful group games, team-building activities & programming tips I know.
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